"Good eeeeevening sports fans!"
"Bob, after their pre-season friendly that allowed the Beasties Chaos Chosen team a two touchdown win, it will be interesting to see if the Copperfield Stealers Halfling horde have recovered from their light mauling by the Ogres."
"Looks like both sets of fans are looking forwards with this, as 6000 have turned up to watch."
"Good turn out for a minor league early in the season!"
"Only one player out, the Halflings got lucky that week. Reports are it was a halfling that was accidently sat on by an ogre tripping over. Fifteen players is a weaker number for halfpints."
"Not as lucky as the Beasties, by avoiding Nurgle rot versus that wiped out one of the skaven teams they were meant to be playing in round one, they have all come in healthy!"
"Here comes the kick, and it's gone really, really short."
"Straight from the off, the Stealers kick touches back, and the Chaos Choses Beastie Boys give the ball to the Chaos Blocker, Eustace, who with assistance from Cornelius and Perdita breaks through the Halfling line."
"Turn one, and the halflings are two players down, one K.O.'ed, one severely injured!"
"Luckily, the Stealers invested early in an apothecary, otherwise that would be a one very dead halfling due to the Beasties tearing him to pieces. That's gotta sting!"
"In fact Jim, the Ky-Gox minotaur, with help from the guard Terrance, as well as the beastmen, Gabriel and Kingsley, took down and badly hurt one of the treeman."
"TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEERRR!"
"Anyone heard from Igor, Bob? He must be rushed off his, err, whoever's feet he's on at the moment, good lad helping with stitching up Halflings!"
"The Stealers tried to block the way of Eustace, but Kingley soon opened it up for him, what a block!"
"Meanwhile Bob, Gabriel has just shoved a halfling off the pitch!"
"I hope the Stealers have great medical plans, they could be opening up their own hospital at this rate!"
"Bob, the Beasties are really beasting the Stealers!"
"There are very few halflings on the pitch, with five already injured, one off knocked out. That's painful."
"Both the big guys are going at each other in droves, both Ky-Gox the Minotaur and the remaining treeman both crash down."
"Jim, after a turn of showboating, Eustace dances in."
"Not often you see chaos blockers dancing, he's got some moves!"
"One-nil to The Beasties."
"On the restart, the Stealers went for a SPECTACULAR aerial assault on the Beasties end zone. A touchback gives their number 10 the ball, and before he could even breathe, he was sailing through the air, propelled by the treeman, a perfect landing and he scuttles in for a one-turn touchdown! Brilliant."
"Fantastic, Jim. Real class be the Stealer, straight back and scoring. No casualties suffered there, and 1-1." 
"With two turns on the restart, the Beasties continue with plan A, and attempt to hammer the halflings."
"Ooops, that's not good! Triple skulls. No rerolls there."
"With a failed handoff, the Beastie Boys fail to score before the break."
"And what an absolute mess, this half-time is. Nothing holds back at the end of the half, there are halflings fans everywhere demanding food! Some of them are on the pitch..."
"The Beasties fans aren't happy with that, some of the halflings are now IN the pitch!"
"Wouldn't want to be a grounds-gnome after this, hope they have some wood elves on call to revitalise this pitch! I've seen swamps that are easier to get through. Everyone is going to be going slow in the second half. wading through all those discarded food wrappers!"
""Let's have a look at the second half. It's a BIIIIIIGGG kick! The ball is hanging in the air, and straight underneath it is Eugene for the Beasties."
"Can we just pause the playback on cablevision, and see this lovely piece of block craft by Eustace."
"Brave going against a treeman one-on-one!" 
"But he is joined by a LOT of friends to try and take down the remaining treeman, but then, there aren't many halflings left to mark to be honest."
"Downfield, the Stealers try to stop the rush. Now look at this, that is how a block should be thrown! Wow! Eugene is being really well protected here."
"Erm, that's because there's no-one left to try and attack the ball-carrier!"
"Woohoo, 2-1 for the Beasties!"
"On the kick, you can see eight halflings in the injured box, only one knocked out who didn't recover. That is exceptional bloodletting by the Chaos boys!"
"Chaos demands sacrifice, Jim." 
"What's missing from this picture Jim?"
"Big guys! Notably the other treeman, Bob! And where is the minotaur?"
"Think he and the treeman crashed heads, he was knocked out, but the treeman was badly hurt."
"At least the halflings managed to pick up the ball."
"This is going to need some serious dodging to get this downfield!"
"Oh, the Stealers have failed their pass! Shame, as it was beautifully accurate, but the intended catcher must have had been pretty greasy hands, the catch bounces!"
"Straight into the hands of Beasties' Kingsley, who obviously doesn't mind about he grease."
"A few quick blitzes, and the Beasties run in their third!"
"3-1 to the Beasties. Nine casualties caused by the Chaos team to none. Three were self-inflicted by the Stealers, but that has to hurt, especially with two treemen down.There are a lot of star player points being given out there!"
"Looks like the Beasties have taken enough from the gate to hire their own apothecary, although after this performance they might not need one!"
"Think there are a lot of halflings fans who will be supporting the Beasties now!"
"The concession stands are certainly selling a lot of Beastie's merchandise!"
"We finally have word from the Halfling dugout from our roving reporter. Igor, who is this apothecary?"
"Itsh my coushin Riff, he'sh made of shome great medicsh."
"You been busy helping the Stealers then?"
"No comment! All I'll shay ish send extra thread!"
"And look at this Jim, the surviving halflings are having a lap of honour."
"There's only three of them!"
"But their number 8 has been declared man-of-the match, basically for surviving the whole game without being knocked out or injured!"
"That's the perfect end to the game!"
"We shall see where these two teams go this season, there's a long way to go."
"Think the Stealers will be going to the trials pitch as soon as possible to get journeymen for their next game."
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