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Burrows and Badgers - a showdown at the Garden of Earthly delights


 Sitting in the 'Osprey's Arms', the Clappersgate Company sullenly sipped their drinks. This surely would cause more headaches than were currently round the table, but after today, that was not many! Each beast looked around, almost afraid to break the silence. On the other side of the bar a group of stoats and ferrets were raucously celebrating a stagbeetle night, while two otters were trading something in another corner.
"What are we doing wrong?" Martyn the mage mused, rhetorically.
"Not ducking would be high on my list!" Sir C'astle grinned sheepisly.


"The plan was sound enough, Iffendi." Alk sniffed his 'apple juice' suspiciously, "I think I will order some boiling water for my tea. We had a contract to search and retreive certain items left in the Garden of Earthly delights, and thankfully, we got straight onto this as we visited it."
"Pebbles and I struck lucky almost immediately." Martyn the mouse mage grinned. "I was certain we would be loaded by the time we got out."


"Yes, but as I moved around the second toadstool, two more bodkinheads put me on my back!" The old knight groaned. "Hardly had time to see them. Still, at least this time, no damage done!"


"Vous Northerners 'ave a funny way of thinking about ze jardains du pleasure! Pain is no pleasure!" Arimouse quipped. "Almost immediately I spied my petit foe, Mousetagnion!"


Pebbles snarled, biting her lip "On the left, much to my disgust, Syd the viper and Squint the mouse were moving fast towards me."


"I tried to take down Arthur with his big chooper from a distance, but he kept dodging my arrows," complained Flash the kingfisher.
A couple of lary stoats were making their way round tables of the bar, intimidating locals and visitors alike. Pebbles snarled, showing her teeth, and started scratching her claws down the table.


"Careful Pebbles, you'll mark the veneer!" Sir C'astle hoarsely whispered.
"We were soon in a duel, so evenly matched, 'is parry vs my main gauche et rapier, neither could land ze telling blow," the mouseketeer continued dreamily, "ze play of ze blade, formidable, joyeux, parfat!"
Alk looked up from his pot of hot water that he carefully added dried leaves to, "Why is he talking about pudding already?"
The two stoats had found some mice to pick on in a neighbouring stall, they had taken up their food and were playing with the nuts and seeds, scattering them all over the floor.


"Something was up, Squnt split off from Syd, who tried crossing the brush, but was slowed as it tickled his tummy," Pebbles continued.
The two stoats caught sight of the company, and being young and full of bravado, moved towards the group.


Flash looked at them suspiciously, nursed his mug of wine, and added, "Arthur Mouse and I ended up dueling over a wall, not at all easy."


"I took my chances, and went for the nearest target," Pebbles added.
They two stoats had arrived at the edge of the companies table, "Ohh, lookie here, a real, true to life, green lizard!"
"Hello scaly!" The first one interrupted.
Pebbles, gripping the table edge tightly, attempted to ignore them, "Squint just kept dodging my blows."


"Don't know what you mean about those arrows Sir C'astle, I dodged them just fine!" Maryn the mouse mage winked.
"Wot, you, dodge an arra! You're an old mouse, ya couldn't dodge this!" One of the ferrets tried to reach out to grab the mage, when Arimouse's paw reached out in mid-air and seized his wrist.
"Monseur, et I use that term loosly, I would, as you say up 'ere, go away before we do 'urt you!"
Martyn, ignoring this, grinded at Sir C'astle "At least one of them could not shoot after that, their bow went bendy!"


Alk took a sip of his tea, ignoring the weasel who was rubbing his wrist and walking away with his friend, muttering. Alk stirred the cup and added, "I came in to help against Squint, but neither of us noticed Syd had slithered a different route, and was coming towards us."


Flash rubbed his head, "Maybe leaping the wall to attack Arthur was a bad idea, but I kept hitting the wall. I almost had him, he was badly hurt"


Arimouse looked at the kingfisher "Bad idea! He knocked you for six! You were lucky not to pick up a massive injury. Think the wall was a better idea."


Martyn added "the mouse archers took another shot at me, which I had no trouble dodging, and another of their bows lost it's string!"
"Wish you had done that two minutes earlier!" Sir C'astle muttered into his wine.


The ferrets were gathering in strength, looking nastily at the gang. Doing their best to ignore them, the post mortem of their lost fight continued.
Alk looked at Pebbles and shrugged "I am truely sorry the Syd got you, he normally misses everyone, or forgets to put his teeth in!"
"It's alright, I'm fine, but it does feel like when he bit me that someone else moved into my head and I'm fighting for space, my headache is killing me!"


"That was enough, after that we broke away." Alk added, "Squint and Arthur had taken some damage, but no one was down, can't believe we got taken apart by the mice."
"Their tortoise and elepha...dger did not even get involved!" added Martyn. "But at least we retreaved three of the objects for our client, that netted us a tasty an amount of pennies, but no one got to loot an enemy, shame! Alk, well done on holding that toll booth, Arimous, great effort at the farm too, lots of pennies there"
"Why did you go to une gunsmith?" Arimous asked.
"To repay you for your services young mouse!" The mage grinned and laid a pair of pistols on the table, and to Alk," I see our inestment in your new mastersmithed heavy armour fits like a glove."
"Mes alores! I was too busy being an 'arvest mouse." The Mousekeeter sat looking wide eyed at the pistols.
"Good thing you and I are practising down the range old boy! Our new skills will be well served." Sir C'astle slapped a paw on his back."What about you my old friend?" He asked Marytn.
"I have a new trick..." he rolled up his sleeves and produced a small ball of fire between his palms, which he twisted and turned before dismissing. "May I present Morglum's Firey Blast!"
"Sickening," added Pebbles.
"Not as sickening as you freaks, clogging up our pub," a reddish furred weasel interuppted. "We 'eard you bein' rude to our boyz, who woz just 'aving some 'armlesss fun!"
Sir C'astle stood up to his full shrew height, somewhere to the belly button of the weasel, "Do you mind, you and your friends are being rather uncouth, we are trying to have a quiet drink."
"Well, we don't like their type in 'ere." The weasel waved a dismissive arm at the seat Pebbles was sitting in "Lizerds, horrible slimey things."
"We will not stand for a lady being insulted!" Sir C'astle kicked out at the weasel's knee, collapsing him to the ground "Nor will you!" The rest of the gang surged.
Alk looked round as the rest of the gang rolled up sleaves and grabbed bottles, a fireball hummed past, "Why is Pebbles chewing her sheild?" Then a table went flying, closely followed by the enraged lizard
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!"
"Oh, we now have a berserker!"

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