Back to the 80s! Warhammer was my first rules set, all the way back in 1st edition. Always had a slight soft spot, as long as too many rules weren't too broken or suffered rules creep.
Last time I played anything like Warhammer Fantasy was the late 90s and early to mid 00s when I used to play Warhammer Ancients .
But I had bought a batch of Goblins from a friend's son to play Dragon Rampant during Lockdown, and seeing several club mates playing 'Old World', I was intrigued. I offered Cliff a fight. The choices were my Melnibonians (High Elf, but meaner) or the force of Gobbos languishing in the lead mountain. So far, the forces haven't had too much creep, so all good.
So, with a couple of free days around Xmas, the Gobbos horde was painted. (To be fair, four units were ready, some of Kieran's, some of mine, some other units just needed expansion and others rebasing, others like the Squigs and archers were from scratch, but it was a fun project).
And we all know the rules for freshly painted armies...
Cliff, with the patience of a saint, agreed to take me through it, using his Dwarfs. I remembered many rules, but had forgotten many nuances.
We agreed a standard pitched battle, and yes, there were many mistakes by me, but a good time was had.
(Ed- all goblins are called Jason, due to a historic 1990s GURPs fantasy campaign. This is no insult to real life Jasons.)
Deployment, seen from the Dwarf side. On the left, Big Jason (CinC) on his giant squig/angry space hopper. Next to him, Stumpy Jason (he had an accident taming his white wolf) and his wolf riders. In the left wood are spider riders, with spear armed night goblins, accompanied by 'Not quite So Big Jason', the army standard bearer. A bolt shooter sits with a gap, then a squig herder mob has Weird Jason, a level 4 Night Goblin mage, nearby. In the right hand wood, bow armed skirmishers lurk, on the other side of the right-hand wood is a unit of Night Goblin Archers, Wolfie Jason and his wolf riders, along with some bow armed wolf skirmishers.
The most expensive thing in the army was the spider riders and Weird Jason, both a shade over 200 points! Cheap and...
The dwarf line, trolls slayers, long beards (with a Dwarf King), Anvil of Doom, Bolt Thrower (popular round here), warriors, thunders (gunners), artillery, crossbows and a gyrocopter.
No point standing round when the dwarves outrage and outrage us! Skirmishers sweep the wood, spears and archers move up, wolves advance, spiders break through the wood and His Nibs bounces off at random on his living Space Hopper.
Turn one and two and it all hots up! The slayers got a charge in on Big Jason, who had bounced too far turn 1 (16" on 3d6) but they took a lot of damage in return from his 'spiteful shield', whereby if you roll a 1 to hit or wound, to causes a hit back. Not good for no save attackers. Big Jason lost two wounds, but many slayers died too, then they got hit in the back by spider riders and Stumpy Jason's wolf riders. Well, mostly by the spiders and wolves, but anyone who has ever played any Warhammer knows mounts always do more damage than riders.
Pity the Slayers are immune to psychology...
Even more pity the spider riders left their flank open to the dwarf king. Should have thought about that.
The spiders were squished, Big Jason was despatched. Oops.
The results were inevitable.
In an effort to deal with the Long beards, the spears brought forth lunatics with balls and chains, Only one contacted, but it did kill three. The spear goblins had been nailed by combined artillery and dwarf bolt thrower fire on the approach, and we're already denuded of two ranks when, the Dwarf King challenged my army standard bearer and cut him down instantly, and the rest of the Long beards did an absolute number on my spears! Even with a rear charge by Stumpy Jason's wolves did not dent the Long beards resolve, and both my units broke, with the wolves chased down.
In the background, Cliff's warrior unit plays 'catch the bolt' from my bolt thrower.
Weird Jason watches on, as all his spells fizzle out.
On the left, wolf riders and archers exchange shots with the crossbows and miners. The gyrocopter managed to pick up two wounds. Wolfie Jason's unit had also been ruthlessly targeted by Dwarf guns.
My skirmishers had made the mistake of getting into charge range of the artillery (also skirmishers), but failed thier charge by an inch, and spent a turn under cannister fire before legging it! They did really rally- incredibly.
As did the fleeing spears, all remaining figure!
I lost my CinC, 2inC, spider riders and one wolf rider unit in exchange for the Troll Slayers, the crossbows were taking panic tests for losses, and that gyrocopter was fragile.
After the game, we looked up and several of my units were on the wrong deployment width (5s, not t 4s), but lesson learned there.
Big win for Cliff, think something about spiders was crossed off the Book of Grudges.
Great game, huge laughs, and yes, I will try it again soon.
As the last remaining heroes of Waaaaaagh Jason, going through the kit of the late Big Jason, Wolfie Jason and Weird Jason unfurled a scroll, entitled 'How to Goblin'...
'Feigned flight...'
'Who had dat?'
'Spida boyz'.
'Idiots, that might 'ave kept 'em alive!'
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